New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
