i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
