Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
