what day is it and did you see me today?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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