i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
