I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize