sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
