he wants to bone in the snuggie
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
