I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
