He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
