I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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