My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
