Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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