Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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