You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
