Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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