He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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