i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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