do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
