Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
