bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize