Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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