Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
