Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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