I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
