I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Oh god it's open bar.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
