Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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