i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
