and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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