Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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