it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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