Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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