I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
