Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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