i barfeds in our rink
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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