Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
