i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
