is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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