i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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