I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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