went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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