I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
