Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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