i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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