I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
