the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
