If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
