"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
