I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
