The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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