Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
