In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
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He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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