she woke up with a sticky ear
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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