Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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