In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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