Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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