Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That accounts for only three of the penises
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
