She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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