your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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